Pre-Grad.

Micah, this is so wrong. You know it, I know it; we both know it.

Tomorrow is graduation. And your chair has become "the" chair, the empty one, the one that everyone looks at, and pities, yet still don't understand. Because it's you--that's your chair...it's not supposed to be empty. Do people realize that? Is anyone else freaking out and yelling at the world that this is not fair?

Tomorrow I will walk across the stage, but somehow you won't be there. You won't catch my gaze across the room. I won't hear your whoops and hollers. We won't share an excited hug. We won't get a picture together. You won't throw your hat into the sky.

I was so looking forward to sharing this day together.

I hate how its one of the last planned events of us together.
I hate how its the first of many separators--now I'll graduate, but you never will, at least officially.
I hate how your family has to sit in a room packed with happy, cheesy parents, who are oogling at their "babies growing up."
I hate how every speaker talks of future dreams, when all of mine seemed to be with you.
I hate how everyone is "moved on," but everything to me is still as fresh as if I'm by your side, in the hospital, during those long days.
I hate how your facebook says "no reply" to my grad party...

I hate that you're not here. I hate it. But I love you so, so much and I know you'd be proud of me for "sticking with it."