"Take me to the end so I can see the start, there's only one way to mend a broken heart."

I forgot that summer means searing heat, sticky skin, and frizzy hair. Today has been so hot I've felt like my eyeballs are melting...and it's not even June yet! Yuck.

Nevertheless, it's been great to have my sisters and friends home from college. Summer is looking to be a great balance of relaxing and fun. I'm still in job-search mode, but most likely will end up as a part-time nanny for various families. (I'm making business cards for my babysitting services...how exciting is that?!) As far as vacations, I'll have my family's annual Outer Banks trip, a sibling week in Canada, and probably random camping weekends here and there. Then it's back to Goshen in late August.

I guess this means that my semester off has come to an end. Of course I'll still be inner-processing a lot this summer, but it'll have a different feel to it...more random; not as deliberate. And certainly not as grief, anger, and pain-filled as last summer was.

This semester has turned out to be just the sabbatical I dreamed of. Yes, there were the moments of boredom and regret, but the moments that I thought to myself "I'm so glad I'm home for this" made it worth it. Being home for the anniversary, helping with the gravestone, volunteering, having time to journal and think, getting to know my parents better, spending time with so many inspiring kids, getting more involved with my church...it was so, so worth it. I feel like I can come back to Goshen as a whole different person; ready to actually learn. That's exactly what I wanted. Maybe this semester was more about stopping my life just so I can start it again; not living halfway in-between like I had been trying before.

It will be sad to leave here again in the fall. I've loved being home. I've loved going to Micah's house every Tuesday, hanging out with his family. I've loved stopping into my grandparent's home late at night to catch up with them. I've loved sleeping in with my cat on my side. I've loved snuggling up to my mom watching junk TV. I've loved hanging out with my brother, one-on-one. I've loved the solitude that has allowed me to just think...

I've loved it all. But I'm grateful for three more months to appreciate it before I re-enter the life at Goshen that I started.