Goshen here we go, here we go.

Wow.
Bags packed, room cleaned out.

I've spent 8 months here. EIGHT! My goodness. I feel speechless trying to give words to it. The only thing I can muster up is, "Wow. That was the best decision I've ever made in my life."

Thank you thank you thank you to every minute of grace, solitude, sleep, tears, laughter, and thought that has passed my way here...thank you, time, for stopping. Maybe that was what I needed all along, and couldn't have gotten it otherwise.

Home. So many places I will miss, still, but so glad I got to soak them up to the bone. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for the incredible time I've had here. Thanks again to you all for your support.

And so, Micah, time ticks on again...
Dominik's a senior, Jeremy's an 8th grader, and I'm back to school. Are you proud of us? You should be! We love you so incredibly much...

Today I am thinking about death
And how two people you know can leave the world in one day:

One, a family relative and my high school music teacher,
Jolly and warm and full of music
Until a brain tumor stopped everything in its tracks.
Dying quickly, he carved his own casket
And sat at his own memorial service
with his family by his side.
Half a year later and he passed away today.

Second, a distant memory of a face in elementary school
Our paths went completley different ways until
I noticed the paper today--
Missing 19 year old discovered today, a cliff, drowning.
Messages flood onto facebook and I'm
reminded of Micah's accident...
"How could this happen?!"
Friends are lost and come to each other in disbelief,
A bright light gone out so quickly.

Two lives---one sudden, one anticipated---one young, one already filled with years. And yet a death is a death, and it comes for both. I'm sad today for these families and appreciating the awakening that life is delicate and to be cherished.

Canada stories

-Sitting on a curb and eating a huge chunk of garlic/olive foccacia and mozzarella cheese. (Debatably the best five minutes of the trip.)
-Running through the rain in Montreal city, dodging under shop roofs to keep cover.
-Walking for hours in Toronto, unaware that it was the hottest day of the year.
-Fresh omeletes and coffee for breakfast at a busy diner.
-Thrifing at Value Village, putting Lancaster's thrift stores to shame.
-Watching Spain win in the World Cup at a local sports bar; Spanish fans beeping, waving flags, and running through the streets for hours to follow.
-French words, signs, accents---everywhere!
-A huge international market with fresh fruit samples everywhere: tomatoes, cucumbers, peaches, nectarines, pineapple. So refreshing to eat after eating camping food for so long.
-The best falafel of my life in Montreal, so worth the money.
-Mont Tremblant National Park, where we camped for two nights after hitting the cities: beautiful like nothing else. Huge mountains, hundreds of lakes, green everywhere. Could have easily stayed there for a week and have been totally content.
-CouchSurfing: staying with two awesome host families. So accommodating and friendly; taking us out at night and showing us around, even feeding us. Makes the world seem smaller to realize that literal strangers can become friends so quickly.

And, of course, the sibling memories.
Cracking up together over the stupidest things. Creating "fairy names" for ourselves. Getting the giggles on the way back from our 4 hour hike and not even being able to walk straight, we were so slap-happy. Cramming into a 4 person tent. The travelling gnome. Molly acting as our "translator." Enduring several rainy nights and thunderstorms (+wet sleeping bags, yikes.) Making awful food that somehow always tasted good. Singing to Lady Gaga on a crazy 12 hour drive home in a packed car...
Ok, so maybe we got a little tired of each other at times, but in retrospect it was so worth it.

So fun, so good, so many memories. Something I won't take for granted for a long time. Thanks to my parents for the trust and freedom, and thanks to Molly/Jacob/Emily for an unforgettable trip.

Happy news:

The gravestone has been in place at Micah's grave for about a month now. It turned out to meet all our expectations and more---even the business that engraved it was surprised how great it turned out. All-in-all, it has been a long process with a lot of emotions, what with the designing/perfecting/engraving and so on. To finally have it sitting at the grave is shocking but also really meaningful. It adds a sense of surreal-finality but it also feels right to finally have the spot officially marked.

I would post a picture but I don't think it would give it justice; it's just something you have to see in person. If anyone would ever like to see the grave, feel free to contact me, I'd love to take you--we can have a picnic! :)

The spot has become warm and alive with plants, flowers, and a butterfly house--nothing like a cold, gray, usual cemetery plot. It's very Micah-like, and that's all I could ask for.

Handsome.

Handsome. Beautiful. Hunky. Whatever you want to call it, that's what you were.

I came across this picture today; I couldn't help but stare at it for awhile. There's certain pictures that do that to me, captivate me like that. They make it seem like just yesterday you were here; then my heart drops with the realization that you're not.