1/25/10.

Gone?
A searing pain straight to the gut. A missing too deep for all the words in the world. An aching in the heart that paralyzes and consumes.

How can the human brain fully comprehend the meaning of gone? There one day, but then not the next?...cherished so deeply, but gone so suddenly, without a warning, without any mutual goodbyes?

It wasn't just goodbye to you--
It was goodbye to normalcy, structure. To golden adolescent years where anything is possible and nothing is stoppable.
It was goodbye to your dreams, Micah, and a hopeful future and thoughts only thought to yourself; unspoken personal desires to explore and discover this world and this life.

To miss out on life. To have lived a full life in the 18 years that were, yes, but to also have been robbed of even more full years of life to come...

Oh, many days I grieve for Micah more than anything.

My best friend, how I know you would've hated to miss out on anything close to a party. I'm so, so sorry--it hurts me so much. I'm sorry it was cut short, and so suddenly. I've shed so many tears for the years that were erased...if only I could lend you some of mine, and then we'd all be together again like a big happy family, exploring and conquering life together.