A Recipe for Healing

Directions:
Be creative. Trust your instincts. Cry when you want to, laugh when you can. Choose the size pot that fits your loss. Season with memories; stir often.
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Friday, September 18, 2009

A dream, and the the brain.

Last night I had a dream that Micah was lying down with his head in my lap; and I was playing with his hair, which somehow had become very curly. His head was very fragile, with bruises and stitch-marks, and I could tell that his nose had been broken. I remember kissing him on the forehead and telling him how glad I was that he survived the accident.

Learning about the brain in my Psychology class this week has been difficult to sit through. Many people speak casually about end-of-life decisions, unconsciousness, and brain damage; but I sit there with my heart beating fast, trying to remain calm and collected, knowing I have a personal experience many others don't have. My studies have made me realize how fragile the brain is; and how each tiny part contributes significantly to the overall function. Thinking about Micah's brain damage in this context gives me a sinking feeling, knowing how damaged he was and truly how irreversible the injuries were. Yet at the same time I wonder what he would have been like, had he lived....my mind wanders there sometimes--but it is a very difficult and painful thing to think of, because I can't imagine Micah in any way but his normal, upbeat, hyper, happy, active self.

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